81973

Joke of the Day

"I was having dinner with my folks when dad called me a son of a bitch. I said, ""Listen, I don't disagree--but she's sitting right THERE."""

"I went to a library... I went to a library and asked the librarian for a book on suicide. Then the librarian turned to me and said ""Fuck you, you wont return it!"""

"What do you call a potato that's high? [A baked potato.](http://www.spudstravels.com/Travel%20Archive/Caribbean/Jamaica_images/Cannabis%20-%20close.jpg)"

"The NSA wants Edward Snowden to leave Russia. NSA: Hey Edward, you should really come back to America so we can talk. Edward: I can't. I'm Snowden."

"Love is like a fart If you have to force it, it's most likely shit."

"Why Does Jesus suck at hockey? He's always getting nailed to the boards."

"If you reply with ""sky"" each time I ask what's up, I shall assume you're homeless."

"They finally created a documentary about clocks. It's about time."

"So what if I can't spell ""Armageddon"" I mean, it's not the end of the world."

"Even though I'm a guy I still get nervous when I pee on a pregnancy test."