81956

Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the scarecrow want dessert? Because he was stuffed!"

"My ex's taught me that not every I love you is real."

"I store drugs right under my nose Don't believe me? Check my stash"

"How do you jerk off a sprinter? Pull a fast one."

"Top 3 things you want to do to avoid writing a clickbait title Number 2 will shock you!"

"I drive a 5 wheeler... But ones in the trunk"

"If I were a mob boss, I'd ask my henchmen to meet me down by the docks, then surprise them with a day of water skiing"

"Ordinary things that become AMAZING once you're a parent: -showers -sitting down to eat -drinking coffee while it's hot -pooping"

"I almost had a threesome yesterday... i just needed two more people."

"""So how was your date?"" I talked about my obsession with reducing fractions too much ""That wasn't a good idea"" Yeah well, hindsight is 1"