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Joke of the Day
"Best way to lose weight. Wait until you are full and stop eating."
Next Joke
"Who was the first carpenter ever? Eve, she made Adam's banana stand."
"My wife and I play trivia pursuit a lot, it's where she ignores me until I correctly guess what I did wrong."
"Who is the coolest guy in the hospital? The Ultrasound guy."
"[having sex] ME: oh yeah do you like that HER: faster! ME: *like an auctioneer* doyoulikethat-isee$5foryes-$5foryes-doisee$10-$10foryes"
"Some lady brought a gaggle of pre-teens to the movie, sat them down next to us & then sat elsewhere. I sold them all on the black market."
"I once asked a friend what he would do if the world was going to end. He told me he would fuck anything that moves. He then asked me the same question. I told him I'd stand very very still."
"My grandmother's stories always include the race of everyone involved"
"Why do American beer companies always advise that their beer should be served cold? So you can tell it apart from urine"
"What is the meaning of trust? A cannibal giving you a blowjob"