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Joke of the Day

"How to impress your ex: 1. Get rich 2. Get more attractive 3. Get a tiger 4. Ride tiger everywhere in preparation for confrontation with ex"

"Best thing about living in NY is you can order anything, anytime, and 30 minutes later it shows up. You see here? This here is an orangutan."

"Hotels are keeping the shower cap industry afloat."

"My grandfather wanted to stay fit when he turned 60 so he decided to start running a mile a day. He's 65 now and we don't know where he is."

"Mysterious file on desktop ""Poopin Babe.docx"" dragged to trash without opening"

"A prison inmate walks into a bar."

"Never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp. She's thick and tired of it."

"How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident? As many as it takes /r/jokes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)^^^"

"My parents let me watch Grease constantly when I was a kid & then they were all, whoa why is our teenager always super drunk in tight pants?"

"Why did the farmer's house catch on fire? He left his home on the range."