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Joke of the Day
"Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom."
Next Joke
"Whenever I'm on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep."
"Pope Francis will bring a rabbi and a Muslim leader with him when he travels to the Holy Land this week. Or as bartenders put it, ""We've been expecting you."""
"Why do Jihadists only drink instant coffee? Because they're cunts. EDIT: punchline."
"You know the times have changed... When Portugal leaves Brazil without taking any Gold."
"Escalators don't break down... they just turn into stairs."
"Not one person is cooler than the pigeon that just walked all the way into this Mexican restaurant, gently picked up a taco chip, and left."
"""Is this seat Taken?"" - Guy who confuses Liam Neeson movies with a chair."
"Hurricanes are loud, costly and sometimes fatal forces of nature That's why the WMO name them after their wives"
"What are Mario's overalls made of? Pixels."