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Joke of the Day

"""See you later alligator"" ""In a whilst crocodile"" -why we fought the British for independence"

"If I got a dime every time I exaggerated... I'd have a jillion, gazillion bucks!"

"How do you kill 200 flies at once? You slap an Ethiopian in the face."

"Then a guy with a rope necklace and flat brimmed hat came in and everyone felt better about their own problems."

"I tried to blow a hair off my laptop screen so now there's some spit next to the hair."

"My sister texted and asked if she and her kids could come over, and now I'm frantically looking for a new place to live."

"INTERVIEWER: thank u, those are all my questions. do u hav any questions for us ME: yes...why do i want this job INTERVIEWER: [starts sweatig]"

"What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer."

"Life's like a box of chocolate, it doesn't last very long for fat people."

"Two programmers walk into a bar: a blond, a brunette and a red head."