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Joke of the Day

"Life's like a box of chocolate, it doesn't last very long for fat people."

"The women who are attracted to me all have one thing in common...[your punchline here] write your own punchline"

"As a young southern farmer I used to dread wasting my time with hoes Now finally I can afford a tractor"

"My brother's on a seafood diet. Really? Yes the more he sees food the more he eats."

"I always keep two pennies in my pocket. Just in case I have to give someone my two cents."

"[Boss' office] ""You're late AGAIN."" Drove back for my phone. ""Why do need it at work?"" It's all I do. ""WHAT?"" I said, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU."

"What do you call a rifle that fires 3 bullets at once? A trifle!"

"I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday. Why don't you? Because I can't think of a single thing to say!"

"Why is the Canadian school system broken because they only give out ehs"

"What makes an ink joke so funny? The plot."