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Joke of the Day

"If the employees in your human resources department were all very into Aleutian sea birds. . . Around Christmas time, everyone would be sending HR Puffin Stuff."

"The One Ultimate Secret to Creating Clear Headlines that will make other joke-tellers hate you. Corduroy Pillow Case."

"These days, lots of things get either exported or imported Except Mexicans, they get deported."

"What does a gay horse eat? Dick."

"How do you know it's time to clean up your room? When the wifi signal doesn't come through."

"Would you like to go see a meteor shower? What are you some kind of pervert?!?"

"A man sold his soul to the devil in order to get back the full head of hair he had as a young man. There was hell toupee."

"I never took Complex Anal. in college So I had to find out about the residue theorem the hard way."

"Taking my dog for a walk Taking my quadriplegic dog for a walk is a real drag."

"My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house. ""To fight the Decepticons,"" I said. She laughed. I laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster."