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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fly without wings? A walk. What do you call that same fly without legs? A raisin."

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"One time I bought these shoes from a drug dealer, and I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day"
"How many Donald Trumps does it take to change a lightbulb? One, he holds up the bulb and the world revolves around him"
"So a kid starts cussing in Social Studies class Another kid hears it and tells the teacher. Teacher confronts kid, saying ""Tom says you were swearing.."" Kid replies, ""That's fucking bullshit!"""
"How does NASA throw a holiday party? They planet."
"STICK BUG WIFE: We can't seem to get pregnant DOC: Well, we ran numerous tests... STICK BUG WIFE: ...and? DOC: Your husband's an actual stick"
"What's dumber than a box of rocks? The hippie carrying them around"
"I traded five of my rolex wathces for a ballon animal... It really was a waste of time. (Sorry for any bad english and what not, nord typing)"
"""I missed you today."" ""Awwww I missed you too."" *both frantically reload dueling pistols*"
"What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? For one you get tweetment and the other you get oinkment..."
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