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Joke of the Day

"STICK BUG WIFE: We can't seem to get pregnant DOC: Well, we ran numerous tests... STICK BUG WIFE: ...and? DOC: Your husband's an actual stick"

"I used to have an ex that always played Minesweeper Should have seen the red flags."

"How does Moses make his coffee? He brews it."

"One of the cooler things you can do when you die is be buried with an elephant bone, just to confuse future archaeologists."

"I made fun of my Middle Eastern friend's food the other day Now I falafel about it."

"It was so cold out today I actually saw a few gangsters with their pants pulled up."

"Last year for Christmas I got a sweater, this year I am hoping for a screamer or a moaner."

"Did I tell you I bought a sports car? It wasn't very good though, I beat it in every sport I played against it"

"everyone on the saturday night live thing pronounced it sarynyelive"

"What do you call a starving robot from space? A C3POpian"