81534

Joke of the Day

"What does the Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common? They both circle Uranus searching for Klingon's"

"That awkward moment when you're trying to get over someone you were never dating."

"What do you call the guy that graduated last in his class at med school? Doctor."

"""I really regret not taking up bow hunting"" I think as my neighbor fires up his chainsaw at first light."

"Did you hear about the two car pile up in Mexico? 200 people died."

"How did the metal get the wrong idea? He was misled."

"Why do old men take Viagra? It stops them from rolling out of bed."

"""Can I have a pound of onions please."" ""Sorry sir, it's kilos these days."" ""oh, ok, can I have a pound of kilos please."""

"[NSFW] What's green, and smells like pork? Kermit the Frog's finger."

"I remember when [person x] was just *this* big (hold hand at knee level)... Then as I got closer I realized it was a matter of perspective."