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Joke of the Day
"What do Lumber jacks do in China? Chop sticks!"
Next Joke
"How many crackheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one more."
"""do u have twitter"" ""SORRY I CAN'T HEAR U!! UR BREAKING UP"" *makes fake static noises* ""we're not even on the pho-"" *jumps out of window*"
"""SZA"" would be the perfect name for a lesbian member of the Wu Tang Clan"
"I can't wait to be 80 & nostalgic over the time I spent staring at my phone screen."
"What do frogs do when they are depressed? They Kermit suicide."
"Longest English word: 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosi' Longest Spanish word: 'GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL'"
"What do you call a small petition? Petite (Basin Tss)"
"Why did Michael Brown rob the convenience store? He was so hungry he could eat a bullet."
"I don't hate you, I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence."