112991

Joke of the Day

"A found a dessert trying to sell me military secrets in my bed last night. It was an under covers pie."

"Why does Beyonce sing ""To the left, to the left""? Because black people have no rights."

"My dentist says to clean between your teeth after every meal. That's his flossophy."

"How do you get the drummer off your front porch? Pay for the pizza."

"What did the Australian sea captain announce when he decided to wank with both arms? All hands on deck"

"Me have great grammar... Me learnt everything I know from Sesame Street!"

"Why didn't the bunny hop? No bunny knows... :("

"The Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar. ...it was tense."

"[i walk up to a woman wearing headphones and take them off her and put them on] nice this song rules. what? sorry, can't talk. headphones on"

"I was riding in my friend's car today when I noticed he didn't have a brake pedal. He said it only slowed him down."