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Joke of the Day

"I don't think the church is going to let me pick music for the bible group again. In my defense, the band name ""Lamb of God"" is misleading."

"Dear coffee, I want you inside of me"

"What's the difference between redneck newlyweds and two variables in a dataset? The variables aren't necessarily related."

"How did Canada get its name? C eh, N eh, D eh."

"What do you call someone with no arms or legs? Jeffrey. Knock knock, Who's there? NOT JEFFREY"

"Dang girl you're so hot because you have all the physical attributes that the general media has conditioned me to find attractive."

"Why did Neil Armstrong get to set foot on the moon before Buzz Aldrin? They wrestled over it. Neil had the stronger arm."

"Why did the blonde wear green lipstick? Because red means stop ;D"

"What do you get when you cross a Rat and a Mountain Climber? Nothing, you can't cross a vector by a scalar. EDIT: changed multiply to cross."

"You had me until the final shot, local commercial. An employee in the back row didn't wave hard enough. No sale."