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Joke of the Day

"I always want to be friends with the people that need shopping carts at the liquor store. I bet those people are fun."

"Knock Knock. ""Who's there?"" ""Kenya."" ""Kenya who?"" ""Kenya let me the fuck in?!?"""

"I got a job at Apple today by answering just one question. The interviewer asked what my passion was and I said, 'tax laws'."

"Saw a ""Toby Keith's I Love This Bar"" that went out of business. Apparently he was the only one."

"""I tell you, this car runs like a dream!"" I change gears and the gearstick turns into a swan. I turn on the wipers & it rains on the inside."

"Muslim extremists have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London... Police think it might be the early start of Ram-a-dam."

"Geologists have jokes too Steve: ""Hey, what kind of rocks are these?"" Geologist: ""They're sex stones."" Steve: ""What? Really?"" Geologist: ""Yeah. They're just fucking rocks."""

"My piss looks and smells like gasoline this morning. My piss does impersonations of other liquids. That's talented piss."

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

"Prof asked if anyone liked comic books. I raised my hand. She didnt add anything or say why it mattered. Just wanted to isolate me socially."