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Joke of the Day

"What is a pirate's favorite element in the periodic table? Gold. Why the fuck would a pirate need Argon?"

"Whoa whoa, calm the fuck down Swiffer commercials, you're a wet paper towel on a stick."

"I'm not racist but... racist people are."

"Eventually the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphs."

"Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies"

"What's the difference between a tuna a piano and a pot of glue..? You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna What about the pot of glue reddit will ask. Hahahahaha I knew you'd get stuck there"

"What is Stewie Griffin's least favorite Fallout weapon? The Fat Man."

"Bestiality Is fucking bitching."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bacon ! Bacon who ? Bacon a cake for your birthday !"

"There are 10 types of people in the world... Those that understand binary, and those that don't."