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Joke of the Day

"What does the bride of a Russian man get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A new last name."

"I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. "

"Will I ever be a good parent? *shakes baby* Wait a minute, if you're here [cut to Magic 8-Ball in crib]"

"Why can't Athiests solve exponential problems? Because they don't believe in higher powers."

"*white girls at restaurant* *orders 5 course meal* *posts pictures of food onto Instagram* ""Check! We're done here"" *leaves without eating*"

"Sunday is Easter, Hitler's birthday, the Columbine anniversary, and weed Christmas. Your move, greeting card section."

"You'd think 'The Terminator' would know what to do in the event of some lady having a child that threatens your way of life."

"Did you know Abe Lincoln was Jewish? He got shot in the temple"

"What does a mobster buried in cement eventually become? A hardened criminal."

"whats the difference between me and the bible? i'm easy to read"