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Joke of the Day

"Adele has announced that she will be singing the theme for the next James Bond film. Diet Another Day will be released in 2014."

"I don't think my black friends on Facebook have the same keyboard as me."

"Did you hear about the guitarist who locked his keys in his van? It took him 2 hours to get his drummer out."

"What does picking your nose and masturbating have in common? It feels fuckin awesome but when you get caught its awkward as hell."

"I'm trying to do unto others as I would have done to me, but they're all ""stop thrusting at me, this is a church service; please sit down"""

"There are three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't."

"How many white people does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just hire a mexican to do it."

"Why were the Native Americans here first... ...because they had reservations."

"I was going to tell a joke about sodium But Na"

"A man walks into a grocery store. Asks for a pound of tomatoes. The grocer says, ""we call them kilos over here."" The man replies ""fine, a pound of kilos then."""