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Joke of the Day

"Where do magical animals go to jail? Azkabarn"

"What did the priest say about consorting with the sisters of the church? Nun is better!"

"How do angels greet each other? They say Halo."

"HR says that we are no longer able to say to anyone ""if ignorance is bliss you must be such a happy person"" even if we smile as we say it."

"To the person crowding me in the checkout line, do you want a hug .. 'cause if you get any closer, I'm gonna assume you do and give you one."

"If they worked, nobody would own more than one self-help book."

"This is your Captain speaking AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING"

"Explaining a fountain to a 3rd world country must be weird. 'Yeah we just shoot clean water into the air and throw our extra money into it'."

"*around a fire* There used to be no iMessage *kids gasp* ""So there were a lot of green messages?"" THEY WERE ALL GREEN MESSAGES *kids scream*"

"Girl, are you a glass of water because I think you're about to throw yourself at me."