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Joke of the Day
"Why did the former fitter turned baker enter the lottery? To win dough."
Next Joke
"I asked the grocery store man if they had eggnog and he's like ""We only carry it at Christmastime"" so I was all ""Whatever, Hitler."""
"21st century divorce: I want it stipulated that he can't change the Netflix password."
"Which knight of the round table had Diabetes? Sir Lance-a-lot"
"My better half said period jokes aren't clever So I wound up discarding 3 pages of jokes i had expounded on the Victorian period."
"So a guy gets on a bus carrying a pole. The bus driver asks him ""Are you a pole vaulter?"" The man replies ""No, I'm Swiss. And how did you know my last name was Vaulter?""."
"I hate it when I try to impress a date by taking her to a nice restaurant and she orders something that isn't on my coupon."
"Did you hear about the 13th century french dog that was a saint?... St. Bernard. Hiyooooooo."
"How do you kill a poet? Give them real self confidence."
"In solidarity with peaceful Muslim communities around the world, I believe America should finally elect it's first Muslim president to a third term."