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Joke of the Day

"Is it considered sexual assault to masturbate while cyber bullying? If so, I owe a pretty heartfelt apology to some members of PlaystationNetwork."

"WalMart is closing down 269 stores in 2016 Due to this, 17 cashiers will lose their jobs."

"Bats are just rats who had too much Red Bull."

"Thinking about starting an independent pharmacy called ""Netflix and Pills"". Quality patient care with 24/7 Netflix while you wait. Thoughts?"

"[NSFW] I like my coffee the way I like slaves... Free, you asshole."

"I lost ten pounds! Learn my hot diet secret! (I replaced booze with pot)"

"Dumb blondes Why does a dumb blonde have a deep bellybutton? They probably have dumb boyfriends too !"

"Read out loud for full affect * ""Knock knock"" * ""Who's there"" * ""I eat mop"" * ""I eat mop who"" * *que laughter Gets em every time"

"Girlfriend and I placed a bet to see who was better at Super Smash Bros for the N64 I beat her so badly! I do wish we had a chance to actually play a race before I had to take her to the hospital..."

"Roses are red, violets are blue... 9/11 was an inside job."