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Joke of the Day

"Roses are red, violets are blue. Pornhub is down, your Facebook will do."

"Why did Jack get a restraining order? Beanstalking."

"If we were to have a small food fight, would we be engaging in Morsel Combat?"

"Why can't Trump supporters ever get into higher levels of mathematics? Cause they can't grasp the concept of integration. (all credits to my friend if he reads it here but didn't post it himself!)"

"Do they still call it hump day in prison?"

"My wife said to me, ""Would you rather have sex with Angelina Jolie or Mila Kunis?"" I said, ""Yes."""

"We built this community from the ground up as opposed to choosing a point in the air and building downwards from there."

"Why don't you hit a Mexican kid who's riding a bike? Because it's probably your bike"

"Arguing with a woman is a lot like reading a license agreement By the end, you ignore everything and just click ""agree""."

"when i hear fat people say that they've made mistakes, i always think to myself, ""yeaa...at the grocery store."""