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Joke of the Day

"What kind of fish is funny, beautiful and a good role model for young women? Tuna Fey."

"Did you hear about the incest convention? Every mother-fucker was there!"

"why i call my girlfriend warm beer my girlfriend asked me why i sometimes call her warm beer, i told her very few want her sober but while drunk shes fair game."

"I put the ____ in a much larger segment of _____________________."

"guys: women are a mystery. women: Here is what we- guys: LITERALLY WHAT DO THEY WANT? women: well for start- guys: Guess we'll never know!"

"Nothing more uncomfortable than a girl with a lazy eye looking up at you while giving you head."

"Why doesn't anyone tell jokes about Jonestown? The punchline is too long."

"Why do chemists go to the gym so much? Before they titrate, they need to get buffer!"

"How do u kill a blonde ? Give her a knife and ask her who is the prettiest of all ."

"Cw: you have a call holding M: put it in my voicemail Cw: he has a sexy Australian accent M: hiiii this is Jennifer"