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Joke of the Day

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Punch his cousin"

"What was Hitler's favorite animal? Da cow"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean."

"Women are like mechanics. I have no idea what they're talking about."

"I had an imaginary girlfriend for a few years, but she ended up leaving me for my best friend. He had a bigger imagination than I did."

"Hooters finally hired me but I have to wear a smock to cover up my weird nipples"

"How did the dog make anti-freeze? He stole her blanket."

"The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't make that here."" Quentin Tarantino walks into a bar. He gets up and leaves. He takes a seat and orders a Polynesian Pearl Diver."

"FIREMAN: this blaze is out of control ME: sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire F: what? No M: *already brandishing a flamethrower*"

"I was having trouble starting my Venn Diagram... But now it's all coming together."