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Joke of the Day

"Polar Bear Q: How do you catch a polar bear? A: You make a hole in the ice and line it with peas. When the bear goes in to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole."

"Boxing is like a dance, a dance where you punch your dance partner until he doesn't want to dance anymore."

"Did you hear about the priest who got caught kissing a nun? He was let off with a warning not to get into the habit."

"Why is santa's sack so big? He only comes once a year..."

"And Lord said unto John... ""Come forth and receive eternal life"" But John came 5th... He got a toaster"

"I have awful jet lag The WiFi on this airliner is just terrible"

"Leaked CSI Reno script. Detective: Why did you do it Johnny, why did you shoot him? Psycho-killer: Just to watch him die..."

"An ironic joke walks into a bar, orders a beer, and sits down Bartender says hey! We're straight talkers here... no irony allowed. Ironic joke says well that's fine then, because I just want a beer."

"I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles, my next crap could spell disaster!"

"What do you call a group of pirates having sex? An *Arrr*-gy..."