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Joke of the Day

"the chemistry between me and any kind of food is just whoa"

"Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don't like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes."

"Why did Mrs. Grape leave Mr. Grape? She was tired of raisin kids."

"What's the difference between frat guys and dogs? A dog has a better understanding of no."

"What do all men at single's bars have in common? They're married."

"BROTHER: The Godfather is on? That's not very Thanksgiving-y. ME: Well, it's about family..."

"A three legged dog walked into a saloon. Said..""I'm looking for the man that shot my Pa."""

"I thought about doing stand up comedy, then I sat back down again."

"I don't throw anything out anymore I just go to TGIFriday's once a month and glue more shit to the wall no one notices try it"

"Why can't two blind people get along? They can't see eye to eye."