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Joke of the Day

"Me and my son don't always see eye to eye because we both wear glasses."

"Even if you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid!"

"Why couldn't the shoes go out and play? They were all tied up."

"A cop asked me if I was high last night. I was on my balcony at my apartment and told him, ""For being three floors up higher than you, I'd say I am!"""

"My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker."

"What comes before OP? QWERTYUI"

"Been talking to this girl for 10 mins and she hasn't slapped me OR called me ""gross""... Hope she's ok with the names I picked for our kids."

"Just bought a 2013 calender, a rope and a stool. I like to keep the store clerk guessing."

"I saw an old man being beaten up by a two men in masks. I decided to help... We beat the crap out of him."

"Can't call it a real relationship if you feel single."