80520

Joke of the Day

"Jew joke I'm a German Jew raised catholic and a chain smoker. I'm genetically engineered to hate myself.... And I think I'm gassing myself."

"Why did the skeleton's dick float? because he had a hollow weenie."

"When I was asked what my five year plan is I responded... I couldn't tell you, I only have 2020 vision. pm me if you want my address to come murder me in my sleep for this."

"What is Helen Kellers favorite color? Corduroy."

"How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four. One to screw in the light bulb and three to talk about how Neil Peart could've done it better."

"The first person to ever call me a psycho was Lorraine from high school. Height 5'4, coffin size 84 by 28 by 23."

"How much do pirates pay to get an earring? A Buccaneer."

"What did pancake Chip say to his friend pancake Berry when Berry was sad? ""Don't feel blue, Berry, things will get batter"""

"Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A: 'ell if I know."

"That sinking feeling when you realize you forgot to lock your clubhouse when you were 8, and it's probably all infested now with girls"