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Joke of the Day

"Your Harvard education doesn't make me respect you more - it makes me respect Harvard less."

"I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat."

"lady: omg your puppy is so cute whats his name me: laser guardian"

"When midgets celebrate 4/20... Do they get high, or just get medium?"

"I got chased by two Canadian geese today. I know they were Canadian because when they realized I was genuinely scared, they apologized."

"If I moved to Britain right now, I could retire a wealthy man. My bank account has approximately 6,723 dollars in it, which would convert to like infinite British pounds."

"You can lead a horse to water... but jet fuel can't melt steel beams."

"You have to be pretty ballsy... to get a Vasectomy..."

"Want to hear a funny abortion joke? Sorry, couldn't conceive one."

"What's attractive in a prostitute ? The Price. Own creation if anyone asks."