80340

Joke of the Day

"how many black live matters protester does it take to screw in a light bulb? no one knows it was too dark to see them."

"Me: Can you believe that after all that crap they're still together!?! Friend: Who ? Me: My butt-cheeks"

"Women think about sex every 7 seconds. Just not with you."

"I just got done watching the Lego Movie with my daughter. The premise is so amazing... It makes me wonder why the Mega Blocks movie fell apart."

"A lot of people cry when chopping onions, but the trick.. ..is to not get emotionally attached."

"I've been trying to give myself a sexchange... but I just can't pull it off."

"If Russia attacked Turkey from behind... ...would Greece help?"

"Why is it that whenever there is two women in a profile pic the hot one is always someone else..?"

"Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked a ten dollar bill into 200 nickels."

"Sometimes, I think I'm the only member of my family not doped up on prescription drugs all the time. Then I usually take my amnesiac meds."