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Joke of the Day

"I went to a strawberry picking competition the other day, a woman with no arms and legs won it. Jammy cunt."

"Thinking about going to 50 Shades and eating loudly the whole time."

"I startled my dog as she was peeing on a mailbox so now the dog she was leaving a message for is only gonna get half of it"

"I'd like my obituary headline to read: ""Local Man's Struggle With Upstairs Wireless Printer Is Over."""

"What do you find at the end of a double rainbow? A group of gay men"

"How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight."

"s/o to the fact that ketchup is a smoothie b/c tomatoes are fruits lol DIDNT SEE THAT ONE COMING DID U FRIES OMNOMNOM"

"What would albert einstein's name be if he was blonde? Nobody would know"

"Warring nations should hurl their politicians at each other."

"Rick Astley Will give you any movie in his Pixar collection except his favorite. He's Never Gonna Give You Up."