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Joke of the Day

"How did the redneck find his sister in the woods? Attractive."

"How are Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd similar? Both's greatest hit was The Wall"

"Ready for battle, I taunted Monday and spit in its face, but when I woke up from my drunken haze, I realized I'd been yelling at Sunday."

"A study showed that more women have vibrators than husbands. Just to play it safe, I'm teaching my penis to vibrate."

"watch only the first and last episodes of How I Met Your Mother. you're welcome"

"The first rule of Chinese Whisper Club: Don't talk about Tiny Whiskers Grub."

"Did you hear about the sensitive thief? He took a fence."

"I was lying in bed yesterday... I looked up and saw the beautiful night sky, the moon, and the stars. Then I wondered... Where the fuck is my roof?"

"Why do hamburgers act brilliantly on stage? They give meaty performances - especially if they are in their prime!"

"[Halloween] Me: How adorable! I love your ghost costume! 14: *sigh* I AM NOT A GHOST! I'M SHEET-FACED."