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Joke of the Day

"Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is in the news. He claims he found a way to bring in $50 million for Toronto. America will pay him to take Justin Bieber back."

"TIL Dr Dre adopted a child from Mexico The child calls him his ""PaDre"""

"A man asked me if I could figure out how to operate a camera... I told him I'd look into it and give it my best shot."

"I wanna live to be so old that my first thought every day when I wake up is ""shit, still here""."

"[sees cute girl jog by] ""Imma run up and ask her out"" [one block later still not caught up] ""Ok, wow, we probably weren't soul mates anyway"""

"Eye no howe too spiel"

"Doctor Doctor I'm having trouble with my breathing. I'll give you something that will soon put a stop to that!"

"How can you spot a Jewish Pedofile? He's the guy in the creepy van rolling up to kids and asking ""Hey kids, you want to buy some candy?"""

"You ever made love to a man? You want to?"

"If you still pay for porn I have a Typewriter and a VCR I want to sell you."