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Joke of the Day

"The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts."

"You hear about the three guys who died in a flight simulator when a plane crashed in to the building? Apparently jet fuel can't melt irony."

"A movie about my life would really just be two hours of someone waiting at a bus stop and still managing to miss the bus."

"What do you have when you have two balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention!"

"Why do good farmers only excel when they are actually farming? Because they are out standing in their field."

"I'm no scientist, but if that ebola virus is communicable, that means WE CAN TALK TO IT."

"What does Vincent say when he's annoyed at someone? Fuck Gogh"

"How do you make a shortcut? With small scissors."

"Whats the difference between your wife and your job? After 10 years the job still sucks."

"Did you hear about the lumberjack who worked overtime? He logged a lot of hours."