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Joke of the Day

"The talk -Dad, am I adopted? -Not yet, we still haven't found anyone who wants you"

"What do you call an incognito deer? An anonymoose"

"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."

"Please keep yelling incoherently at strangers on the internet about which candidate you think is best. This will surely change their minds"

"I believe every child should be given a chance... ...and that's why if they can guess the number I'm thinking of, I'll let them go..."

"Best joke I've heard in a while 63071"

"Really, IKEA? No free WiFi? Or do I have to buy one and assemble it?"

"A gambling addict begins his 5th stretch of therapy... ""It failed 4 times in a row, so it's bound to work this time."""

"Why does Daniel love white vans? Because he likes candy... *I'll walk myself out*"

"[texting] Her: We need to talk. (9:00 am) Him: About? (9:01 am) Him: What? (9:02 am) Him: WHAT??? (9:03 am) Her: Dinner tonight. (4:42 pm)"