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Joke of the Day

"1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance......... The 5 stages of wearing a condom."

"Sometimes I wake up grouchy sometimes I let her sleep"

"Why does LeVar Burton not like to travel by airplane? He usually flies twice as high."

"My friend told me Alan Rickman had passed away. I said ""You're joking?"".... ...She replied ""Nope. Dead Sirius."""

"The biggest difference between men and women... Is what comes to mind when the word 'facial' is used."

"Hard to believe it's 2017 I'm still writing ""this is a nightmare fuck everything omg"" on my checks."

"If I could time travel I'd go to my funeral and take names of people who seemed to be handling it a little too well."

"Oh look, it's raining outside. I think I'll go on Facebook and update all my friends that don't have a window of their own."

"I need subtle fat jokes My wife is annoyingly pregnant. Give me your best."

"I got 99 problems but I'm avoiding them all."