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Joke of the Day

"Oh look, it's raining outside. I think I'll go on Facebook and update all my friends that don't have a window of their own."

"A Quebecer staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper. ""Black pepper, or white pepper?"" asked the concierge. ""Toilette pepper!"" yelled the Quebecer."

"Why did the man with a stammer never get out of jail? He couldn't finish his sentence."

"What can be served but not eaten? A tennis ball."

"A guest checked in and informed us that his plane had a ton of delays throughout the day. I replied ""well, at least it didn't disappear, eh?"""

"What did the penis say to the condom? ""Cover me. I'm going in."""

"What do you call a beloved terrorist? Guantanamo Bae"

"An owl and a mouse are sitting on a branch when a farmer walks by below. The owl turns to the mouse and says nothing. Because owls can't speak. The owl then eats the mouse because it's a bird of prey."

"him: what are you looking for on this dating site? me: someone who will hold the cats down so I can take pics of them wearing sunglasses."

"""Damnit!"" -a burglar, discovering yet another drawer filled with dead batteries, take-out menus, and pen caps."