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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Pharaoh getting kicked out of the Grammy's? I guess that's what happens when you toot on Common."

"TRUMP: if elected i'll build a protective wall. I'll call it the great wall *advisor whispers in his ear* i'll call it the really great wall"

"COP: Did the suspect have a birthmark? MARK: He's alive so I'm assuming he had a birth, yes."

"Think the walk of shame sucks now, imagine doing it in the 80s in corduroy pants. Everyone heard you leaving."

"What does a cat say when it lands on it's back? Me. Ow."

"Jesus: *resurrected* Mary Magdalene: I have a boyfriend."

"[adrift at sea] CLOWN: no worries, we can use this helium canister to propel us to shore ME: *really squeaky voice* we need a different plan"

"What is a pirate's favorite fast food joint? Aaaaarby"

"I've decided to give karate a break for a little while... I guess you could say I am going on a HI-YA-tus."

"The girl at the Baskins-Robbins thinks Leonardo da Vinci was ""in that Titanic movie"". Now my ice cream tastes like stupid."