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Joke of the Day

"Username walks into a hotel... And asks for a room. A few days later he leaves. I guess you could say, Username checks out."

"What's Natalie Portman's favorite element? Thorium."

"Instructions in the Men's Room for hand washing. Because non-hand washers can't be bothered unless there's an opportunity to learn stuff."

"During my last prostate exam I asked my doctor to stick in another finger. Because I wanted a second opinion."

"I got 99 problems but I'm avoiding them all."

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just beat the walls because they are black"

"[trying to make small talk with the lady cutting my hair] so what do you do for a living"

"what is the stupidest animal in the jungle? the polar bear"

"Yo momma's so white... When she passes through a prism more prisms come out"

"A pirate walks into a bar with a ships wheel between his legs The barkeep asks if he knows he has a wheel there.. He replies, ""Yarr, it be driving me nuts!"""