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Joke of the Day

"What's the new etiquette rule: am I supposed to wait until everyone is done photographing their meals before I start eating mine?"

"HOT SINGLES IN YOUR FANNYPACK WANT TO GO IN THE VENDING MACHINE."

"""Where are you all going?"" A lifeboat. The Titanic is sinking. ""You guys are booked til 2. Trust me, this'll be great exposure for your band"

"What do your mom and a camel have in common? They both spit."

"A fighter plane mechanic goes to the doctor for his impotence. The doctor examines him and then writes a brief diagnosis. ""Could not reproduce"""

"Why do Germans have such great focus? I think it's because they used to have concentration camps."

"What do you call a cow masturbating? Beef stroganoff."

"Gave a homeless guy a dollar and got this joke... What came first - the chicken, or the egg? Neither. The rooster always comes first."

"Last night I dreamt I was a muffler... I woke up this morning exhausted."

"I was once blind for 5 years It was a very dark time in my life."