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Joke of the Day

"For father's day my grandpa got a SUV Socks, Underwear, and Viagra"

"My grief counselor died last week. Luckily, he was so good I didn't give a shit."

"I gave my car some heroine and now it's a plane. Too bad it will eventually crash."

"Why couldn't the police solve the case of the flat car battery? They had no leads."

"Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathizers."

"London held a monocle convention for high class members of society... ... it was a respectable spectacle spectacle."

"I need a good pun about Calvinism"

"""Daddy , how do stars die ?"" ""Drugs , usually"""

"Ninety percent of being an accountant is fighting off the babes..."

"Online shopping. My wife was complaining that i shop too much online and that i had to send some shit back where it came from. So i have sent her back to Thailand."