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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend left me today because I have developed a pasta touching fetish. I've been feeling Canneloni ever since. :'("

"Doctor says I need to see a chiropractor for my back pain... I said ""Are you nuts? I don't have time to go to Egypt!"""

"Some of the best things in life...are mistakes."

"I like my women like I like my toasters... Two warm holes and never leaves the kitchen."

"A jewish girl asks her dad for 40 dollars her dad looks at her and says""30 DOLLARS??!!?!, what do you need 20 dollars for? here's a ten, go split it with your brother"""

"*sends you a pic of a kitten* *you reply, ""Awe""* *face melts* *responds, ""We've been over this already, it's ""Aww""* *deletes your number*"

"My dog reacts to the vacuum cleaner the same way I react when my wife says ""We need to talk""."

"Did you guys hear about the talking polar bear? He's very arcticulate! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Birth Control My wife and I had seven kids. We tried using birth control pills, but they kept falling out."

"What do black men hear most after sex? Back to your cell, inmate."