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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Its ok he worked it out with a pencil"

"*coroner takes picture of my body after I'm brutally murdered* Me: delete it"

"Bill Cosby was charged with sexual assault I guess the proof was in the pudding"

"ME: *sighs* yep, story of my life EDITOR: please stop saying that every time you hand me a draft of your autobiography"

"Teacher: Didn't you know the bell had gone? Fred: I didn't take it Miss."

"Breaking news... The news truck has split in half, our traffic report website is down, and the studio seems to be having trouble with this sound system."

"I screwed up self-checkout at the supermarket and had to ask myself if I could see a manager."

"*man invents wheel* ""How can we possibly improve this?"" *Man invents wheel of cheese* ""Nailed it!"""

"Why did the sick eagle get deported? Because he was an illeagle."

"What's the fastest way to go from 300 pounds to 140? Convert to kilograms."