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Joke of the Day

"Im pretty sure my dick is a masochist It loves being beaten every day"

"Trump just said if he's elected he'll shut down the corrugated container industry He wants to make America crate again"

"""Will you marry me?"" ""The cookie was poison"" ""The lotto numbers will never win"" Examples of why I got fired from writing fortune cookies"

"Given how, when I try to eat a banana, I end up holding the peel while the actual fruit falls to the floor, I'm ok never handling a firearm."

"What do you call a wolf once its found A there wolf"

"What concert is worth 45 cents? 50 cent with Nickelback"

"If the actor who plays Wolverine were to reveal that he's been a con-artist his entire life.... Would that mean this has all been a huge act, man?"

"How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp? Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining."

"eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches."

"Just pulled into the 'Expecting Mothers' parking spot at Walmart because I'm fully expecting to lose my shit on one of my kids in there."