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Joke of the Day
"What does a Jamaican Liar sit on? Deceit."
Next Joke
"How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree? Wave at him"
"How do you listen to Taylor Swift and N.W.A one after the other? Make a mixed tape."
"yes lassie? ""bark"" Timmy's in the well and you pissed in my slippers and you told me about Timmy first so I wouldn't get mad ""bark"" smart"
"I think the best way to prevent a polar bear from raping you is to just say ""Yes!"""
"What's the boob of a nun called? Sanctity."
"An interesting fact about the word ""poop."" While saying the word ""poop"" your mouth resembles your anus while pooping. Another great example of this relationship is with the word ""diarrhea."""
"I find that women in nightclubs are like toilets in nightclubs They're either engaged or vacant and some of them are disabled"
"How many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Bush did it."
"The guy behind me honked a nanosecond after the light turned green. So I put on my flashers and here I sit, tweeting about the whole thing"