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Joke of the Day

"1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait"

"When I go to Subway I always bring a pair of pants that are 10 times to big for me and high five all the workers."

"Arguing on the Internet is like sex with a goat No matter how good your performance, everyone else now thinks less of you."

"Today reminds me of how bad a terrorist is.. at playing Jenga."

"Never buy the first round cause that's when people care what they're drinking!"

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine & a small child? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window..."

"The scariest thing about being a doctor is if you ever, even once, accidentally call it a ""cooter"" you're fired for life."

"What's the difference between jokes and dicks? Your mother can't take 3 jokes at the same time."

"[alarm clock goes off] ok it's happening again it's a day and it's here again *googling* day again why how to unsubscribe days"

"which power ranger is racist? the WHITE POWER ranger"