79310

Joke of the Day

"When are you allowed to play with scissors? Never, under no circumcises!"

"[lying with girlfriend & looking up at the stars] ""Hey--"" *points to shooting star* ""You've put on a lot of weight."""

"Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would've."

"Why do Mexican families make tamales on Christmas Eve? So the kids have something to unwrap on Christmas morning."

"I'm not saying she faked her orgasm, all I'm saying is my p enis wasn't even in."

"A pedophile and an 8 year old are walking into the forest.. The kid says to the pedo, ""I am scared"" The pedo replies, ""You're scared?? I have to walk back alone!"""

"Guy passes a buff guy on the street and asks, ""Are you a pole vaulter?"" He says, ""No, I'm German. How did you know my name was Walter?"""

"Someone called me racist for saying ""black paint"" I disagreed with him, since pointing out the color of paint does not infer anything about my opinions of different ethnicities"

"I just yawned so loud now I'm pretty sure a whale somewhere is trying to answer."

"1942: How can we beat the Nazis? 1968: How can we go to the moon? 2006: How can a phone be a supercomputer? 2016: How can we beat the Nazis?"