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Joke of the Day

"""Some people say I'm an animal in the sack."" - baby kangaroo"

"You do a lot of yoga? ""Yeah"" So you must be really...(winks) annoying"

"Son? ""Yes dad?"" If they ever put me on my death bed... I want you to... ""Yes?"" Tell those idiots to put me on a life bed instead wtf"

"Nepal: ""just like awkwardly stack two triangles to make our flag"" All the other countries have rectangles ""TWO TRIANGLES"" Alright ok fine"

"I'm tired of seeing ""Hey OP, I banged your mom"" comments every time I post a submission.... I never should have given dad my username."

"I have a higher IQ than Batman and Donald Trump combined. By the way, Batman has a higher IQ than me."

"It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike."

"Never date an intelligent, incredibly handsome, wealthy man. He's a violent psychopath that wants to kill you *things i learned from horrors"

"Instead of racism or misogyny, why not hate the people who wear pyjamas and slippers to the airport?"

"What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration."