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Joke of the Day

"Eleanor Rigby would probably get super bummed out if she ever heard the song about her."

"""So I went to this convention called, ""Ladies Without Legs"", and man... was that place crawling with pussy."" - Willie Nelson"

"So my girlfriend came over and wanted breakfast So I offered her my personal salami and if she tried hard enough she could get some dipping sauce as well"

"Anytime I'm using a stall in a public restroom and someone knocks on the door, I always say, ""Did you bring the lube?"" As loud as possible."

"Frankenstein.. Frankenstein enters a body building competition, and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective."

"New Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan TV show. Two and a half kilos."

"What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? Walks home."

"How did Jennifer Aniston find her fiancee? She looked very Theroux-ly."

"Your Mom is like Planet 9... very distant from the sun"

"IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got."