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Joke of the Day

"How many anti-feminists does it take to screw the light bulb? Anti feminists? Nah, they can't screw"

"Two prostitutes are standing on the corner. One asked the other, ""Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz before?"" The prostitute replies, ""No, but I've been swung by my tits."""

"My damn neighbours bang on the walls at all hours of the night It's so bad sometimes that i can hardly hear myself practising the drums"

"I just want to feel as important as a person who remains on a phone call through the entire duration of a grocery checkout."

"There's a question in the exam that said, ""What is the past tense of 'think'?"" So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'."

"Chuck Norris died yesterday. He's fine today."

"Girls want a Guy that's a gentleman and a Bad Ass! Girls want a guy that's a gentleman and a bad ass. On first dates, I wear a tuxedo and an eye patch!"

"I justified buying a PS3 because I knew I could always use it to just watch movies, and now that's the only reason I still have it. A 250GB hard drive holds a shitload of internet porn"

"I touch myself when I think of you. It's not what you're thinking, I'm mostly scratching my head wondering what I saw in you."

"The declawed cats that I feel most sorry for are the ones that want to play scratch off lottery tickets."